4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
