Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
