I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Randomize
