ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
