Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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