walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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