This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Are we still banned from the library?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
