? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
well you can't waste a boner
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
