I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
