Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
