At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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