do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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