i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
