he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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