Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
