I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
