I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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