I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
