i just wanna soil my oats bro
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
