I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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