don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
