in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
