I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
