My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
