What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
