Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
