You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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