She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We are two peas in an std pod
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
