her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Randomize
