You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I want you more than these girls want KFC
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
