So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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