She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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