I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
