The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
