I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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