Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
