awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
