So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
