I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
