Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
it glows. i had to have it.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
