Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
