i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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