it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
