WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
