Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
