brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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