So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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