I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
