You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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