I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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